every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
