The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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