He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
