I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
