shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize