I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
