Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I have aggressive nipples.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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