so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
