Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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