walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
