Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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