it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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