Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
