I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
