Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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