I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
