How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
