So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
