For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
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she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
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I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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