I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
