Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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