Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize