u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
