whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
