"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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