Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
