what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the day after is always just damage control
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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