i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
