P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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