Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
