Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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