so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize