He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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