Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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