grandma shit on top of the toilet
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
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