You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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