So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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