I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
