Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
