can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
