I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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