Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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