I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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