ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Please don't give away my fajitas
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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