i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize