i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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