the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
