My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
