you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
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you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
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Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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