I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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