Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
