If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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