i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
