I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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