also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
