We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
