Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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