So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
