im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
