I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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