Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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