The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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